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Jim is wrong

Now there's this guy named Richard Stallman who thinks that all software should be free.
[Referee's note: Gah! Bet you a billion dollars he's going to mess this up. You can tell because he doesn't follow the "capitalize 'free' when talking about Free Software" convention.]

I guess
[Referee's note: Why guess? The GNU manifesto and various supporting docs are just a web search away...uh...you do know how to use a browser, right? Yes, I know these computer thingys are tricky...that's right, you have to plug it in...and turn in on...sheesh, just get your RA to do it.]

his vision is just to round up all of us software guys into a desert commune
[Referee's note: See, this is what happens when you guess! You end up very, very, very wrong. Why not let that hard working RA finish up for you?]

wearing only robes and sandals and have us program all day and worship him as the GNU god. [See, I told you puns were bad -Ed.] We should be happy to get gruel for dinner, thoughtfully provided by the hardware exploiters. Pol Pot could have learned something from this guy.
[Referee's note: Oh geez, hasn't anyone told you that red baiting has gone out of style? What? It's back? Oh well, it may be back in style but it's still moronic. I'm sure your RA would be willing to fix this.]

"Here, be really smart, get a good education, devote yourself to your lifes work, and give it away for the good of the people." Jim Jones at least served grape Kool Aid.
[Referee's note: Geez, I guess pointing out that FSF pays programmers to work on Free software would be sorta redundant at this point. Where is that RA?]


Me, I'm willing to pay a guy some good bucks to keep my Boeing 777 flying and out of the drink. I'd hate to see that the desert zombie zealots were too busy advancing the state of the art in Doom 37, rather than paying attention to the 777 avionics computer code. If you ever meet Mr. Stallman, tell him to "go pound sand" for me.
[Referee's note: But I would have thought your skull was completely full! Why do you need more sand? Oh...well yes, it's true that most computer chips are silicon based...No! Your oven is not a clean room! But why don't you crawl in and check it out anyway? Don't forget to plug in the "heat ground" to keep from getting burnt...and put the filters on 350...]

[Ed.: Maybe the RA did write it. Revenge is a powerful motivator....]

The good part about Open Source is that it is you get all of the source code. The bad part is that modern software, especially that written in C, is unbelievably complex. Your chances of opening up one of those programs and doing significant work in a reasonable time frame is just about nil. Believe me, those people are just blowing sunshine up your skirt when they say, "Well, the source is free and anyone can change it to do what they want". It's pretty much the same as saying, "Here's a shovel, which allows you to move dirt and rocks. You can move Mount Everest 800 feet to the left if that's what you really want to do".

Rant over. The Linux 'look' has nothing to do with a well designed user interface or Open Source. It's about throwing bits up on the display. Morphic knows how to do this as well as anybody.

Johnny, I'll add at this point you're just being a lazy little pig dog. I've given you all the clues that you need to get that 'Linux' type of look. But I'll hold your hand and lead you through some of the finer bits.

Eye Candy III

[Referee's note: Are we sure we can't punt this over to Wired? With their new redesign, at least it would be illegible...]

[Ed: Their old design was pretty illegible too!]

[Referee's note: Sure, but you didn't expect them to rest on thier laurals, did you? I heard they Open Sourced the design...]



[Editor's note: While generally the identity of a referee here at Squeak Swiki is kept a strict secret, but due to a poster on the mailing list making a complete hash of his identity [Meta-editor: Arrgh. That pun was both bad and obscure!], I decided to reveal that it was Bijan Parsia's RA [Meta-editor: Ha! I wish I had one that was distinct from my self. The dang decorator pattern's not all it's cracked up to be.]]



Jims reply: Thank you for your insightful reply. I especially liked:

[Referee's note: Why guess? The GNU manifesto and various supporting docs are just a web search away...uh...you do know how to use a browser, right? Yes, I know these computer thingys are tricky...that's right, you have to plug it in...and turn in on...sheesh, just get your RA to do it.]

This makes me believe you are a true Linux man. Let's see, rather than just giving a link for us still "living in the dark" to examine which of course would be the obvious thing to do, you were able to imply that I am not smart enough to plug in a computer, and throw in an acronym at the same time! Maybe in your next revision you can add a couple of command line switches to the process. Uh, I did give you a link to Stallmans own home page on the GNU project.

Of course, I just write some stuff down and throw it on a web page, and you get to critique it. That's fine and good, I appreciate the feedback. I don't want to pressure you, but maybe at some point if you could actually write down what your arguments are and what you were trying to say, that would help me "see the light". I've found that helps me learn new things.

You seem to be infatuated with this RA acronym, whoever or whatever that is. That's what I like best about you people, you throw some acronym out and expect the rest of the world to know what it stands for. Guess what? We don't care all that much.

I can appreciate why you need to be anonymous. With points as well made as these, how else would you keep the world from running to your door?

I've incorporated your response into a page which I called:

Jims First Swiki Lesson

Your names not Johnny is it?

Your friend,

Jim


Well, "Jim" , "Professor Morphic", or whatever your real name is, I guess that when I read someone supposedly aping an Academic in a Humorous Manner, that it is acceptable to respond in a similar Humour (black Humour, of course, though my yellow's a bit off). I hadn't thought that you would get so Into your Character that you would get All Upset. I also hadn't thought that you Were Being Serious, since you Didn't Give Any Arguments, at least on the Part Upon Which I Commented.

But since [Editor's Note: This is just gratuitous] you Dislike the Interspersed Style with a capital Dis, I shall Respond as best my Humble Skills allow, Out of Line (er...in a DIfferent Way than Last Time).

Point the first: I have Never Used linux, at least other than Interacting With It in a Serverly Manner. The computer System to which I give my Eyes, my Ears, and my Sacred Honor is the Macintosh, though in the past six Months, it has been Mostly Supplanted by SQUEAK. So Professor Jim, I guess your Inference Skills are Not the Most Robust, if you were Led by my Comments to Beleive that I'm a True Linux Man as I am not even a False Linux Man.

Point the second, I suppose that I should have Repeated the Link that you Gave. I thought it More Charitible to Suggest that you were Computer Illiterate rather than Plain Old Illiterate. Since in a Couple Of Lines you managed to Say that someone was a Communist and Cultist Type with No Qualms and Indeed Ethusiams for Mass Murder on a Grand Scale, I presumed the Convention of Casual and Exagerated Insult was In Force. I suppose this was Too Charitible.

Point the Third: 'RA' stands for 'Research Assistent'. I did Presume you do Be Acquainted with that due to the Academic Apery. My Sincere and Most Humble apologies.

Point the Fourth, the Comments were Not Anonymous. Please look at the Last Comment (which I Include for your Convenience):
[Editor's note: While generally the identity of a referee here at Squeak Swiki is kept a strict secret, but due to a poster on the mailing list making a complete hash of his identity [Meta-editor: Arrgh. That pun was both bad and obscure!], I decided to reveal that it was Bijan Parsia's RA [Meta-editor: Ha! I wish I had one that was distinct from my self. The dang decorator pattern's not all it's cracked up to be.]]


Perhaps the Literately Assumption was Too Strong. Furthermore, it was Intended as an Allusion to the practice in Academia of having Anonymously Refereed Journals. I confess to Making Presumptions about my Audience, but I assure you that it was Insular Academic Snobbery, and not Wild-Eye Linux Fanaticism.

If you had Emotional Difficulties due to the Percieved Lack of Indentification, I hereby Express Regret.

I close with a Quote from your Electronic Letter of Solicitation:

You may reply to the list, but I
please put it on the Swiki page, or link your comments in at the bottom of
the page if you are really offended and need your own page of anti rant
room. After all, isn't that what community is all about? Please be gentle
with me, I only have half a brain. Unless your comment is really scathing.
That always makes for a good read.


I Presume that My Comments were not Scathing Enough. I shall Attempt to Rectify that In Future Discourses.

Your Most Humble and Obedient Servant,

Bijan Parsia
bparsia@email.unc.edu
Just in case you missed it :)